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Why Your Masculine Purpose Should Always Come Before Women

purpose of man purpose

There’s a lot of truths that the masses can’t seem to understand, no matter how hard they try…but most of the time, they don’t even try at all.

Most of the time, when confronted with an uncomfortable truth, the mass of men slink away into the recesses of their mind, content in clinging onto their misguided beliefs.

One belief in particular is extremely hard for men to accept—not because it’s necessarily difficult to understand, but because it evokes incredible anger from mainstream consciousness.

…and of course, that’s the truth that I’ll be talking about today. Here’s why your purpose should always come before women, and why you should NEVER make her your purpose in life.


The Natural Alignment

man purpose

“Your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner. The next time you notice yourself “giving in” to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop.” -David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

For millions of years, and in fact up until quite recently, man lived in harmony with his true nature. There was no modern social conditioning, there was no “gender studies” bullshit, and there were no conveniences of the modern life.

Men lived, breathed, slept, and ate when it was natural. They lived within nature, and they were a part of it—and while the evolution of man has certainly reaped us great rewards, it’s also set us far off balance.

During these times, men had to struggle and persevere to survive. The least of their concerns was “getting hot girls,” or “getting laid,” let alone wondering what they should say to some girl on Tinder.

They were too focused on what actually mattered, like building civilizations, winning wars, and hunting down animals with their bare hands and a spear and some mates. They were in touch with their purpose.

Whether it was to catch food, to fight for honor and glory, to spread their religion, or to conquer new worlds, men had a purpose…but now? What do we have when everything has been given to us on a silver platter?


The Fall of Man

purpose of man purpose

“We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives.” -Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

The reason why so many men are devoid of a purpose nowadays, is because we don’t NEED ONE. Back when we were living day-to-day, and could be slain by an enemy tribe at any moment, purpose was thrust upon us.

Back when man’s entire existence was literally do-or-die, life-or-death, we had a very strong purpose, and it kept us grounded. It kept men focused on what really mattered, but things have changed.

With our modern comforts, many men lack a strong sense of direction and purpose. Instead, they turn to the one vice that has toppled many a great men from their thrones: lust for women.

Everywhere you look, from the media which the mainstream masses consume so eagerly to the streets and halls of our structured buildings, you will see men chasing women…and it’s pathetic.

“But hold on Jon, don’t you teach guys how to improve their game? Don’t you teach guys how to get the dating life that they want, how to sleep with hot girls, and eventually how to get a girlfriend?” someone might ask.

Yes, yes I do—but this is not a contradiction. As I’m going to lay out in this article, it’s extremely important that men understand why your purpose in life should always come before women. It’s fine to pursue women, but you should never make them your purpose.


Pursuing vs. Chasing Women

never make women your purpose


Men have always pursued beautiful women; whether it was Romeo who fell deeply in love with Juliet at first sight, or whether it was a king who took his time to court a princess from some far off land. Pursuing a woman however, is not the same as chasing her.

When you chase a woman, you put her before your purpose in life—you make her the star of your movie, you put her before your integrity, and you turn her into your true north. While this may sound romantic and inspire warm feelings, it’s actually the worst thing that you can do.

Women are attracted to men who have a strong sense of purpose in life, and the second that she senses she can sway you from that purpose, she will recognize you for what you are—a weak little boy, who can be taken off his true path in life by the promise of sex.

Chasing women comes from a place of desperation, of clinging for her love, and of needing her approval to bolster your self-esteem. Pursuing a woman comes from a grounded place of focus and purpose, where you certainly still want her, but want her as an addition to your life, not to be the end-all of it.


Making Women Your Purpose

purpose of man purpose

Making women your purpose is nothing short of deadly, and I do not exaggerate when I say this. Making a woman your purpose in life will almost inevitably lead to feelings of worthlessness, depression, self-loathing, and sometimes even suicide.

With the dangers that come from making a woman your purpose, you’d think that mainstream society would tell us the truth—however as I’m sure you know by now, the masses prefer a comfortable lie over a painful truth every single time.

Elliot Rodger made women his purpose. Every breathe, every action, every single thought was him asking himself how he could gain more approval from women—and while some level of this is certainly normal, taken to the extreme it leads to incredible mental sickness.

Women are repulsed when you make them your purpose. Ever wonder why they’re so willing to discard a guy who puts her before his own life, meanwhile they chase the guy who barely seems to have time for her? It’s because one of them puts his own life’s purpose before her, and the other doesn’t. Can you guess which is which?


External vs. Internal Validation

purpose of man purpose

Generally speaking, there’s two ways of getting validation: from the inside and from the outside. Yes, I understand that in reality it’s typically a mix, but keep this concept in mind for a moment—it will shed light to this idea of creating your purpose.

Look at the men in the image above—those are vikings, truly relentless warriors. What do you think their purpose was? Was it to make sure little Susie thought they were cool? Or maybe it was to have a certain type of beard that little Jessica thought was really nice?

Or maybe, just maybe, do you think their purpose was to fucking conquer new worlds, expand their horizons, travel to far and distant lands, and to protect their brothers as they forged onward into battle? I think the answer is pretty obvious.

When you make women your purpose, you’re anchoring your emotional state to something that’s external. Every little thing a woman does will impact your state. When she likes you, you’ll feel on top of the world…but when she doesn’t, you’ll spiral into depression and hatred.

Anchoring your emotional state onto something external, especially women who change their emotions like every five seconds, is absolutely absurd. You are not your BMW, you are not your wife, and you are not your expensive home in Beverly Hills.


Masculine Core Purpose

purpose of man purpose

I’ve written about Elon Musk in the past, because I think he’s a great example of living with a strong sense of masculine purpose. For those of you who live under a rock, Elon Musk is a multi-billionaire who’s creating a multitude of companies that could quite literally revolutionize the planet.

From SpaceX, the first private company aiming to colonize Mars, to NeuroLink, which is attempting to merge computer technology with the human brain, Elon Musk has got his hands pretty damn full.

So when his wife gets upset over some little thing that he forgot to do, or when one of his previous girlfriends would get mad that he’s staying up until 3 in the morning working his ass off, what do you think his emotional response would be?

He wouldn’t give a flying fuck. Certainly he would want to treat them well and spend time with him, but his lofty goals of changing the world and revolutionizing reality as we know it would always take first priority.

Many guys see this and interpret it as being a dick, but it’s actually quite the opposite. When I spend time with women, I’m pretty nice to them—we do cool things, have fun, and occasionally, depending on the girl, have great sex.

But I never put them BEFORE my purpose. If I have an interview with a major news network scheduled on a certain day, and a girl asks me to hang out, I’m not going to cancel it. If I have to write an article, and I get hit up by a pretty girl wanting to fuck, I’m going to politely decline (or more likely I wouldn’t even bother checking my phone).

When a man puts a woman before his purpose, he deprives the world of an authentic man. He castrates himself and subjects his emotions to the whims of her feelings, which could change on a dime. Don’t do this. Be a man on his purpose. This is how to turn a girl on.


Deriving Purpose From Within

man purpose of man

When you anchor your purpose onto a woman’s opinion of you, your emotional state is subject to the whims of her mood. When you anchor your purpose onto something internal however, it’s nearly impossible to beat down.

Your purpose must come from inside of you; from a deep desire to follow your bliss, to do what you love, and to change the world in ways other men have never thought of before. While this may sound idealistic, it’s true.

If your purpose is to pursue music, teach other men how to build muscle, or to eradicate poverty, your actions that affect this are within your control. Sure, there will be setbacks, but you’ll always have yourself and your integrity.

When you make a woman your purpose, you sacrifice your integrity—because when she says she doesn’t like “X” or “Y” you’ll put on a mask to fit her desires. This is called being fake, and women are repulsed by it. They’re drawn to an authentic, genuine man who does not give a single shit about what the world thinks, and pursues his purpose with laser focus.



masculine purpose

In conclusion, you must never make women your purpose in life. Of course you can still pursue them, and value the time that you spend with them, but a man should always be focused on his purpose.

I didn’t just randomly make this up or pull it out of my ass, this is just the way it is. Look back at the times in your life when you’ve put girls as the #1 priority in your life, and dropped everything just for them—how did that work out?

Then, look back at times in your life when you were focused on your own shit. How did women treat you then? Doing this exercise can be quite eye-opening (and sometimes humbling) for many modern men.

If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to leave them down below—and as always, I’ll see you guys next time.

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Sany Fox
6 years ago

This is some really good stuff. Damn… thank god I find your blog. You’ve some really good writing skills as well – very easy to follow.

6 years ago

Great article Jon. Good job.

TTB 1980
6 years ago

Great article, but I have a question.
How does your view of Elon Musk go together with what he is saying in this Rolling Stone interview about women and relationships? Do you see a a contradiction here?

He says stuf like
“If I’m not in love, if I’m not with a long-term companion, I cannot be happy.”
“I will never be happy without having someone. Going to sleep alone kills me.”

Curious about your view on this…

Thanks again for this great article.

Jon Anthony
6 years ago
Reply to  TTB 1980

Great question. I actually didn’t know he thought that, but it’s still not a contradiction. Elon Musk touches upon a pretty core part of the human experience, which is our need for connection – ultimately without deep relationships, we won’t be happy.

This is different than pinning your “purpose” onto a woman, however. If you asked Elon Musk what his purpose is, he would probably talk about how he’s changing the world with Tesla, Boring Company, SpaceX, etc.

It’s okay to still want relationships and to feel good when women validate you, you just don’t want to make external validation your #1 priority in life.

Eric Dombrower
6 years ago

Hey Jon, great article, you hit the nail on the head with this one (as always), but I have a question. I’ve always had a problem with external validation. I feel a certain way because of others’ approval. The problem is, I’m only 15 and I don’t really have a purpose. I’ve been trying to be more masculine, but I feel as if Im not that confident. I’ve learned to feel confident, I’ve been working out and all that, and I’ve been swallowing the Red Pill, but if I feel like I’m not that successful in any way compared to someone else, my confidence is gone. I’m also on NoFap (this site and NoFap are my only bookmarks). How can I stop chasing girls and being desperate for them, without really having a purpose in life yet?

Jon Anthony
6 years ago
Reply to  Eric Dombrower

You don’t need to have some pie in the sky purpose. Just make your purpose experiencing life, doing stuff you enjoy, and improving. Feeling a little bit of validation from external sources is completely normal, but you don’t want to let it get to be the main source.

Eric Dombrower
6 years ago
Reply to  Jon Anthony

Ok. For now as a 15 year old, I should consider that my purpose. The problem is, though, external validation IS my main source of validation, it’s very unreliable. I’m trying to learn how to reverse that and get internal validation and consistent confidence, rather than ALWAYS getting validation externally.

Jon Anthony
6 years ago
Reply to  Eric Dombrower

External validation was my main source of validation, too. You’re completely normal, just focus on validating yourself.

6 years ago

The easiest way to stop caring so much about women is by taking action. I only start thinking about women when I’m sitting around bored. When I’m pushing myself like lifting weights or something women don’t feel important.

6 years ago

In the Indian kind of Buddism, there is the sphere of the Deva, the Gods. Our ancestors would have looked at our way of living in wonder – so rich, so safe, so easy. Truly a place for the Deva. But there world also can never reach the state of the Buddah, everything is to soft, to good. They are blinded by there easy life.
We need to be more uncomfortable. We are so weak, we can barley go a week without warm showers, rich meals and full nights of sleep. We may train and be strong, but we are not tough. Damm, the Romans had an entire generation of men slaughted by Carthago – then marched back soon after and burned it to the ground. My generation can barley do there own laundry without an motivation speak by half the world…


What's Up, I'm Jon Anthony

Women. Fitness. Money. I’ll help you achieve it.

After dropping out of college to pursue my dreams, I started this blog as a way to help other men do the same.

What started off as a fun hobby, grew into a full-scale 6-figure business that’s changing the lives of men worldwide.


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