As I was sitting at home, putting some of the finishing touches on an article for Masculine Development, I got a text from my wingman.
“Dude, come through. There’s tons of hot girls here.” Eager to go out after having been working all day, I quickly replied: “Where at?” He shot me an address, and I proceeded to go through my typical pre-party routine.
I hammered out some calisthenics to wake up and get the blood pumping, took an ice cold shower to enhance my alertness, and pounded down a cup of piping hot coffee for that mental boost (by the way if you haven’t tried taking a cold shower and then drinking hot coffee right after, it’s amazing).
I put on my custom tailored denim jeans, a black V-neck, and a trendy sports jacked. I slipped on my Nike Flyknit Roshe’s, spritzed myself with one of my favorite, inexpensive sex-appeal-oozing colognes, and shot out the door.
As I took an Uber to the party, I took some deep breaths and meditated to relax my mind after a long day of work. If you don’t meditate before going out and clubbing, I highly recommend it—meditation actually shoots your game through the roof, due to it creating a calm sense of not giving a fuck.
“We’re here,” my Uber driver said. I gave him a tip, jumped out of the car, and texted my wingman: “I’m here.” “Meet me out back,” he said.
“So what did you do then, Jon?? Did you go right up to that stunner and talk to her?” Fuck, no. That’s a total newbie mistake.
You see, when you first get to the club, you need to warm up. You need to employ a concept known as social momentum. If you think that you can just go from working for a grueling 14 hours straight, and then go to the club and be all happy and outgoing, then you’re completely wrong (and have never tried it).
You need to build social momentum, or in other words, you need to slowly get yourself into that socializing “mode,” if you will. So what do you think I did to do that?
It’s simple. I talked to my wing. We’re both very familiar with the concept of social momentum, and we’ve both got pretty solid game, so do you know what we did? We amped each others’ emotions up. We cracked jokes and shot the shit; we were just happy by ourselves.
Boys, THIS is the secret to getting girls. It’s not having money (although it helps), it’s not having the perfect opener, and it’s definitely not looks (girls actually don’t give a shit about looks if you have good game).
The key is to just be so fucking happy and content with your own life that she wants to join YOU and come into YOUR life. So, this is what me and my wingman did.
We were both pretty excited to finally hang out—we hadn’t seen each other in a few months, and it felt great to get back into the game with one another. He told me about his crazy plans to become an Army Ranger, and I updated him about my blog; we simply shot the shit and got into a good mood.
Now, what if you don’t have a wingman to do this with? That’s a completely valid point. A lot of guys when they first start off learning game have trouble amping their emotions out at the club, because they don’t know anyone to go out with.
Well, there’s a few things that you can do in this scenario. If you’re new to game and don’t have anyone to go clubbing with, consider using alcohol. Yes, yes, I know—it isn’t the healthiest long term option. But it’s not meant to be. It’s meant to get you over the initial hitch until you meet some people who can make you feel drunk without drinking.
Another option is to use game-enhancing drugs like kratom (better stock up now before it’s taken off the market), phenibut, or steroids (kidding, but not really, because they actually work really well).
But the number one thing you MUST do if you’re a newbie is employ social momentum. The SECOND that you get to the club, start talking to people. I don’t care who. Old people, young people, hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, groups of guys, single guys…just talk.
The reason for this is that if you go into a club and don’t talk IMMEDIATELY, you’ll start getting in your head. “Oh, I’ll just get a drink first. Then I’ll do some game.” Then after wasting $20 and 30 minutes, you say to yourself: “Oh I just have to go to the bathroom, then I’ll go game some girls.” Then after waiting in line for 20 minutes, you’re in your head even further, and you’re already too nervous to talk to anyone.
You’ll start coming up with the lamest excuses to not approach girls. “Oh, she looks too busy.” “Oh she looks like she’s headed somewhere.” “Oh, that guy’s probably her boyfriend.”
Avoid this by building social momentum from the start. You have to work your way up to the hot girls. ONLY talk to the stunners of the club when you’ve got some social momentum going, otherwise you’ll most likely just get blown out.
Okay, so my wingman and I were amped up. We got each other into an awesome mood, and we were ready to start approaching. “Let’s go this way,” I said to him. We meandered over to the dance floor, and just started dancing. Again, this is a big key. Soak up your environment.
Why did we start dancing? Because it gets you into a good mood. When you move your body, you get out of your head, which makes your approach anxiety go down to virtually zero. So, when I saw two hot girls dancing with each other, do you think I hesitated to approach them?
Of course not. I already had social momentum, I was dancing, and I was in an awesome mood. “HEY! HEY! HEY!” I shouted at them.
“B-but Jon, aren’t you afraid of interrupting them?” Fuck no. Look at it like this:
If you’re going to offer a homeless man $100, would you be afraid of interrupting him? Fuck no. You’re doing him a huge favor…and this, my friends, is how I look at it when I open girls. I’m doing THEM a favor by opening them. How Alpha is that?
“But isn’t that delusional, Jon?” I can hear someone ask. Are you kidding me? Do you know how Alpha the average reader of Masculine Development is compared to most guys? YOU, right now. You, the guy who’s reading this! You’re probably in the top 1% of guys in the West.
Can I say this with complete certainty? No, but it’s very likely. Regardless, when I open girls, I feel like I’m actually doing THEM a favor.
Why? Because I work out, I have perfect nutrition, I meditate every day, I read every night, I’m confident, I’m good looking, I have my style and grooming down…I’m doing them a massive favor by talking to them. If they had me in their lives, they would be far more satisfied than they are currently.
So no, I’m not afraid of interrupting them. Just by talking to them I’m offering them a chance to improve their lives by having me in it. So, because I opened them with this mindset, how do you think they reacted?
They looked over at me, got wide-eyed, and smiled. This is the power of sub-communication, boys.
When it comes to girls, it isn’t what you say. It’s how you say it.
I guarantee if some creepy guy came over and said “HEY! HEY! HEY!” they’d look at him weird, and walk away. But when I said the exact same thing, they could sense I was confident and care-free. I wasn’t nervous about “interrupting” them. I was just happy and outgoing, and wanted to share the good emotions.
So after they got wide-eyed and smiled at my opener, I shouted: “Do you ever feel like you just want to dance? Like I literally feel like a girl right now…I JUST WANT TO DANCE!” As I said this they started screaming and giggling: “HAHAHA OHMYGOD!” I put my arms around them, yelled at them to “DANCE!” and they started grinding on my crotch.
Again—an incredible amount of communication is happening with just a few words. First off, I was completely congruent. This type of approach wouldn’t have worked if I was in a bad mood. The most important rule in effectively talking to women is congruence.
Because I was in an awesome mood and wanted to dance with them, this type of approach worked. If I was in a depressed mood, a different, more low-energy approach would be required.
Second, I communicated that I wasn’t afraid of getting sexual. I immediately wrapped my arms around them, which is a huge indicator of being an Alpha male. Now, don’t be stupid and try this on random girls if you’re in a bad mood, because you’ll get a bad reaction. But the point is that I could tell they were open to my advances, so I advanced.
I then literally commanded them to dance. How Alpha do you think commanding a girl to do something is? It’s pretty fucking Alpha. I literally didn’t even construct a full sentence, I just ordered them to dance…but the key is that I said it with a smile on my face, and my voice radiated positive emotions.
Girls will do what feels good, and if you are the source of good emotions, they will literally go to the ends of the earth to fuck you. I cannot emphasize this enough. Girls just do what feels good. Don’t get mad over this, just accept it. If you’re blasting them with positive emotions and acting sexual around them, sex will happen without a doubt.
My wingman, already one step ahead of me, grabbed one of the girls and shouted: “Over here!” She eagerly followed him, because he followed the core principles of game that I talk about so much. First off, he was assertive. He didn’t ask her “h-hey do you want to c-come over here?” he just shouted “Over here!” and she followed.
Second, he was decisive. He knew what he wanted, and he took fucking action to get it. He didn’t just say “Over here!” he said it while grabbing her hand and pulling her where he wanted her to go. This is an example of decisive action.
Third, he was congruent. He was in a great mood, and he wasn’t afraid of expressing it. Because he was fully embodying the positive emotions he was feeling, he was able to just grab a girl, yell “over here!” and have her eagerly oblige. If he was in a bad mood, and tried a different approach, so long as he was congruent, it would have worked.
Anyways, the point is that my wingman saw which girl I wanted and grabbed her friend so that I could isolate her. As I saw him do this, I simultaneously grabbed my girl by the hand, and shouted “this way!”
I pulled her over to a more secluded spot of the dance floor, and started dancing with her. After dancing for a few minutes, I spun her around and started making out with her. After a few minutes of some heavy petting, I grabbed her by the hand and said “Let’s get some fresh air.”
Again, do you notice the assertiveness and decisiveness in my words? When I go out to clubs and bars, I very rarely, if ever, ask a girl if she wants to do something. 9 times out of 10 I simply grab her by the hand and say what we’re going to do. And 9 times out of 10 they oblige, because they crave a confident, dominant man who can lead them through life (game is a manifestation of life).
As we got outside, I pulled her over to a more isolated corner and we started talking. My past experience with women has taught me to always ensure they’re comfortable with me before I pull them home. This is because you need to appease her “primal side,” by making her attracted to you, but you also have to appeal her “social conditioning” side, so that she has a reason to go home with you (aka so she doesn’t feel like a slut).
So as we were outside, I asked her a few basic questions and we made some small talk. Nothing too fancy, just some basic questions so that she feels like she knows a little bit about me. Once I feel like she knows me somewhat well, I decide to head out.
“Let’s go for a walk,” I said as I grabbed her hand. “Okay!” she eagerly complied.
Always use what’s known as baby-stepping, men. Don’t just say “let’s go back to my place.” Instead, focus on what’s right in front of you. If you look back through my lay report, you’ll see that this is what I did.
First, I just got her away from her friend. Then I got her outside for some fresh air. Then I got her a little bit more isolated outside. Then I told her that we should go for a walk.
Sometimes, from there, I’ll tell her that I know an awesome restaurant that’s “like a 5 minute walk.” Even if it’s a 20 minute walk, they don’t really care. They just want a story to tell their friends so that they don’t feel like a slut.
“Oh, well we just went to go get pizza and it was like 5 minutes from his place, so he invited me for a drink, and I guess it just kind of happened…”
AKA the guy she was with was a total player and knows how to slowly baby-step girls closer and closer to his place. This is what you must learn to do.
Always have a “pulling” restaurant that’s like a few blocks away from where you live, so that you can easily go from the restaurant to your home.
Anyways, as we started walking back to my place, the girl dropped a massive shit test. “No, wait! I can’t leave my friend!”
I could tell that she wasn’t actually concerned about her friend; she was just testing me to see if I would cave like a little bitch, and I didn’t, because I know how to pass shit tests. Previously I’ve discussed two of my favorite methods to passing shit tests (amplifying the frame and re-framing), but there’s actually more than just these two.
There’s a third, which I call imposing your own frame onto her. This is a tricky one, because it can sometimes come off as you being an asshole (and not the good kind), but there’s a time and a place for everything.
So when she told me that she can’t leave her friend, I simply imposed my frame onto her.
“Oh your friend will be fine! Here just send her a text, tell her we’re getting pizza.” I literally pulled her phone out of her shorts and put it in her hand. The key is to not freak out.
If you freak out you’ve already failed the shit test. Simply be so confident in your frame that you calmly and collectedly correct her. This is what I did, and this is what you must do.
As she was in the middle of texting her friend, I grabbed her and gently started pulling her away as if to say “come on, wrap it up.” She put her phone in her pocket, and ran along with me, giving me a quick hug from the side. AKA she’s thankful that I’m a man who gets it, who actually has game, and who can make sex happen without making her feel guilty.
As we got a few blocks away from the party, I called a cab and started making out with her. Why didn’t I just call a cab from the party? Because when you’re at a party the odds of getting cock-blocked are so much higher. Her friend could come out, some guy that she knows could see her, etc, etc.
Plus, we can make out and grope while we wait for the cab, which helps to maintain the sexual tension. Soon enough the cab rolled up, we jumped in, and got back to my place. Five minutes later, she was begging me to fuck her harder.
Remember to always follow the core principles of game. Be assertive, be decisive, be congruent, and be confident. Don’t be ashamed of your sexuality. Learn how to pass a girls’ shit tests. Utilize social momentum. 85% of your results with women will come from the basics.
Learn to baby-step women. Always have a “pull restaurant” nearby so that you can easily pull girls from parties and clubs. Realize that women just do what feels good. Don’t judge them for it, simply become a man who provides her with those good feelings.
I hope you guys enjoyed this article; it’s the first lay report that I’ve published and I think that a lot of guys could learn some pretty important lessons from it. If you’d like more articles like this, be sure to say so in the comments section below…and as always, I’ll see you next time.
Jon Anthony is a dating coach, fitness expert, and self-improvement guru. He dropped out of college to start Masculine Development in 2015, and has since been self-employed, helping men across the world achieve their best lives. You can best reach him on social media, or via email for questions.