When the average person learns that I teach men how to approach and seduce women, they almost always look at me in a judgmental way.
“This guy teaches other men how to seduce women? That’s so manipulative!” or “So he’s a professional pick up artist? What a pervert!” Thoughts like these are very common to the average woman who discovers my blog.
And what’s even worse, is that thoughts like these are very common to the average MAN, as well. I can’t tell you how many white knights I’ve met out on the dance floor that try to shame me for being a normal guy who just wants some pussy.
In this post I will explain why most people stuck in group think view learning game as “shallow,” “manipulative,” or “perverted,” and why learning game is actually one of the best things you can do for self-development.
Before I really get into a deep rant here, I want to take some time out to define just what game really is. A lot of girls look at my blog, and they think that game is some manipulative trickery that creeps learn to seduce them.
Game is actually the exact opposite. Despite popular misconceptions, game is not manipulative. Game is not Machiavellian, it’s not weird, it’s not lame, and it’s not perverted.
Learning game is the process of becoming a confident, assertive, and decisive man who can effectively relate to women in a way that makes them attracted to you.
In other words, learning game is fucking normal. But, because our society conditions men from a young age to be weak, sniveling beta males that don’t know how to relate to a woman, we actually have to spend time LEARNING something that should be natural.
Game is basically having the correct emotional response to a woman’s actions and words. Game is knowing that women test men to see how confident they are, and knowing how to pass these tests.
Game is learning to be the best version of yourself; it’s a process of self-discovery where you grow and mature emotionally as a man, so that you can relate to a woman in a healthy way.
The media and mainstream “group think,” of course, completely twist this. They warp game into being some sort of Machiavellian pursuit where men learn how to use women, and they demonize the men who teach pickup as calculating, cold-hearted killers.
Anyone who’s been in the game long enough knows two things:
Despite the fact that women love men who have game, the media twists PUA’s into these weird, fanatical, cult-like puppet-masters who destroy women’s hearts. Why is this?
Fundamentally, the average man hates pickup for one simple reason: he’s too scared shitless to admit to himself that his game sucks and that he has no high quality women in his life. It’s really that simple.
The average man chooses to marry a girl not out of love, but out of necessity. The average man hits the age of 30 and thinks: “Oh shit, I should probably get married.” Then, he frantically looks around for a girl to marry, because he’s not coming from a place of abundance.
So, he finds some girl who thinks: “Well, I’m getting older and my looks are fading. This guy has money, maybe I should just settle down.” So they end up getting married not out of love, but out of necessity.
In other words, most people are fucking pathetic. Rather than learning to improve their game and choose a partner that they actually LOVE, they’re lazy and just take what they can get.
This is, fundamentally, why the average man stuck in group think HATES pickup artists. We’re a constant reminder to them that they suck with women, and that despite the veneer of happiness, they hate their wives (50% divorce rates, anybody?).
For the average person stuck in group think, pickup is manipulative, because they can’t understand how just being confident, decisive, congruent, and assertive can get them more women than they ever imagined. They think that you have to use “tricks” to get women, when really, you just have to have a pair of fucking balls.
Do you see the point there? Because it’s too hard for them to admit that having a piss poor romantic life is THEIR OWN FAULT, they simply twist this fact and blame the guys trying to improve themselves.
This is, fundamentally, why the average white knight hates pickup: it’s easier to just blame the men who actually have game, than to admit to themselves that their lives suck due to laziness.
Whenever you see a pickup artist in the mainstream media (which is very rare, I’ll admit), whatever talk show host is interviewing him will inevitably try to frame him as some guy who learns these “tricks” to get women.
In other words, the underlying belief of the masses (which the mainstream media represents) is that you can’t get hot girls by improving yourself. You have to learn “tricks,” because you’re not good enough as you are.
Do you see the point? The average person has no clue that you can improve all aspects of your life—they have this underlying belief that whatever you’re born with, you’ve just got to accept. The average person doesn’t really think that you can achieve more than you were born into.
This is why the novel, “The Game,” by Neil Strauss, caught on at a mainstream level. The fundamental idea behind this book was that even if you suck with women, you can learn these magical “pickup lines” and “techniques” that will get you girls.
This was a relatively mainstream book, because the underlying belief behind this book was that women are these perfect creatures that you’re not good enough for, so you have to learn these sneaky tactics and manipulative techniques to “get her.”
This is the exact opposite of what game actually is. As I’ve said before, women love it when you’re just confident enough to be yourself, but the mainstream can’t swallow this (red) pill.
Again, the reason why the mainstream media looks down on pickup artists, is because they don’t understand what game is. They think that game is some sly, set of underhanded tactics, when really, it’s just learning to be a better man.
Fundamentally, game is actually a mutually beneficial endeavor; men who pursue learning game see an increase in the quantity and quality of women in their lives, and women have more attractive men to choose from.
In addition to being a win-win on a macro level, game is also a win-win on a micro level—it’s never meant to hurt or manipulate the woman you’re with, but rather to make them feel good and have fun.
Game, when done effectively, actually makes a woman feel really good. Women enjoy being with a man who’s charismatic, confident, and funny. They enjoy being led around on a date or in a social interaction; they love it when a strong man can decisively guide them through life.
The mainstream media, however, zooms in on the 1% of pickup artists that are manipulative psychopaths, and somehow gives everyone the idea that this is the ENTIRE pickup community, when it’s obviously not. In fact, most pickup artists that I’ve met in person are actually really, really nice guys.
No, not “nice guys,” as in pushovers, but nice guys as in they genuinely care about other people. This is exactly what game does: it trains you to be very aware of other peoples’ emotions, whether they be women or men. Spending hours and hours out pulling club girls or doing day game will give you razor sharp social calibration.
This is because, on a fundamental level, game isn’t really anything special. Having game just means that you’re able to see what other people are feeling, and you’re able to act in a way that fits the situation.
For example, when I’m at the club and I’m in the zone, I can tell IMMEDIATELY what a person is feeling, because my brain is “warmed up” and in the social mode. When I see a girl who’s extremely aroused walking down the street, I know that I can go right in and kiss her without saying a word.
Conversely, if I walk up to a girl and approach her, and she gets uncomfortable, I can tell this and in a split second I move away slightly and put my hands behind my back to make myself less intimidating. Do you see the point? Game is simply knowing what the other person is feeling, and reacting in an empathetic way.
As someone who’s been involved in the world of self-development for nearly a decade now, I’ve tried a lot of different strategies, a million different techniques, and I’ve read hundreds of books on the topic.
I’ve tried meditating, rolfing, working out, going to seminars, eating healthy, and getting coaching. I’ve tried energy work, sex therapy, spiritual rituals, psychedelic drugs, and other extremely esoteric, weird shit.
I can, without a doubt, tell you that learning game is one of the most effective ways of developing yourself; learning game is the ultimate form of self-development.
And if you really think about it, this makes perfect sense. When a man goes out to the club and learns to meet, attract, and seduce women he doesn’t even know, think of how this effects him:
In other words, for the amount of time that you put into game, the returns that you get out of it are literally life-changing. For every night that you spend out practicing cold approach, you learn things about yourself that might take YEARS to learn otherwise.
Game forces you to face reality and engage with it. Game rubs your own weaknesses in your face. Game is like jumping into the deep end and learning how to swim.
A man can spend YEARS meditating and claiming that he’s able to remain calm under pressure. Oh really? Try going out to the club where Avicii is blasting so loud you can barely hear, the strobe lights practically give you a seizure, and then some girl smacks you in the face for making a joke she thought was offensive.
This is one of my big gripes with a lot of the “self-development” world: it’s not tangible. Guys claim that they “see reality for what it is, man,” or that they’ve “swallowed the red pill, dude,” but then when you ask them how it’s changed their life they can’t fucking reply.
Game, on the other hand, actually SHOWS YOU right in your face, what your results are. This is why so many guys can’t handle it—it ruthlessly shows them if they’re good with women or not, if they’re confident or not, and if they’re emotionally resilient or not.
Taking the time out to learn game will literally be life-changing for you. In fact, if you do it in conjunction with practicing my 7 Strategies, you’ll literally be a different man in just a few months.
Game will obviously help you get hotter girls into your life. It will help you date high quality women, live in a state of abundance, and have a ton of sex. This is just the surface level stuff, though—the real benefits are more subtle.
It isn’t common for me to see guys go from broke, pathetic losers to confident, successful millionaires in just a few years after learning game. In fact, it’s kind of the norm.
Why? Because the same principles that make you good with women make you good with LIFE.
Go back to the list of bullet points in the last section—look at all of those things that game will do for you, and ask yourself how they apply to other areas of your life. Take, for example, how game will make you “bold, assertive, decisive, and charismatic.”
Becoming more bold means that you’ll take more risks. You’ll start that business or write that eBook that you’ve been afraid of doing. You’ll be assertive enough to go after what you want in life, from women to a job to a lifestyle.
Being decisive will help you do all of these things—when you just fucking decide to do something, magical things happen. You start to see paths where you previously didn’t see any before. You find a way.
And the charisma? That’s just an added benefit. I can’t tell you how many people I know who’ve improved their lives JUST from charisma. They become friends with highly successful, connected people, and benefit from the added connections.
For example, one pickup artist that I know from Las Vegas (I won’t say his name) met a successful real estate investor out at the club, who eventually gave him a stake in a high end makeup store that he was developing.
So not only does he get an extra $2,000 a month from sales, but now he can get all of the girls he’s dating FREE makeup. Do you see my point? All of this was only possible from charisma—and this is just the icing on top of the cake.
In conclusion, learning game is actually one of the BEST things that you can do if you want to develop yourself as a man. Learning game teaches you to face your fears, develop genuine confidence, and become more bold.
The media, of course, twists this into being some sort of manipulative pursuit. The media wants you to think that learning game is Machiavellian or shallow, but the truth is that they’re just scared.
The average man hates pickup artists, because he’s too scared shitless to admit that he lacks game and that he’s a bitch. The average woman hates pickup artists, because she thinks that they’re manipulative (until they game her and change her mood, that is).
Don’t let these people sway you from the path, however—learning game will change you as a man, regardless of your age or circumstances. If you liked the article, be sure to share and subscribe. Any questions left down below will be answered by yours truly. All the best, and I’ll see you next time.
Jon Anthony is a dating coach, fitness expert, and self-improvement guru. He dropped out of college to start Masculine Development in 2015, and has since been self-employed, helping men across the world achieve their best lives. You can best reach him on social media, or via email for questions.