How to Whiten Your Teeth Naturally (On the Cheap)

It’s no secret that having white teeth really completes the package of being “that hot guy.” Sure, having clear skin, a chiseled body, and style definitely helps, but white teeth is kind of like the icing on top of the cake.

In fact, a surprising number of girls actually say it’s one of the most attractive characteristics in a man. Personally, I think this is bullshit, but there’s still no denying that whitening your teeth is a great way to become more attractive.

“But isn’t that expensive, Jon?” I can hear someone ask. Yeah, if you overpay some dentist to do it, it is. But in this article I’m going to show you how to whiten your teeth for pennies a day (it’s fast and easy, too).

Don’t Listen to Dentists

If you google “how to whiten your teeth,” you’ll find a bunch of bullshit, retard-tier advice. “Go to the dentist and pay him $350 to whiten your teeth!” Yeah fucking right. I’m not going to pay some sap $350 every month just to get white teeth.

“Stop drinking coffee! It stains your teeth!” is another one of my favorites. Whoever wrote this is straight up retarded. Like really? Oh yeah let me just give up one of my favorite nootropics so that I can whiten my teeth.

Give me a break. It always irritates me how there’s so much horrible advice out there, so I’ve decided to give you guys the simple truth.

You can get white teeth with pennies a day, using four simple ingredients.

Four Ingredients

This is definitely going to be a shorter article, because the formula for whitening your teeth naturally is actually pretty simple. It consists of:

• The right toothpaste
• The right mouthwash
• Activated Charcoal
• Hydrogen Peroxide

That’s it. And seeing that you’re already using toothpaste and mouthwash, really you only have to use a couple more things to get really white teeth. You don’t have to use the activated charcoal, because the right toothpaste, mouthwash, and hydrogen peroxide will mostly do the trick, but for optimal results I recommend using all four.

The Right Toothpaste

I first discovered this toothpaste about a year ago, and let me say—the results have been astounding.

I’ve been using a bunch of different toothpaste brands my whole life. Crest, Colgate, Oral-B and more…so I was kind of surprised when I hadn’t heard of this one.

But, the reviews were great, and my friend recommended it to me, so I decided to try it out.

This shit will noticeably whiten your teeth within a week.

Be sure to use it twice a day though. If you’re only using it once a day, you’ll get results, but for optimal results and the whitest teeth possible, use it twice a day (any more than that will irritate your gums).

I actually noticed a slight difference in just a few days, but I really started to notice a difference within a week. And the best part? You already use toothpaste. So why not use one that’s going to whiten your teeth?

The Right Mouthwash

This one is definitely a lot more common than the toothpaste, but it still works. If you aren’t using Crest 3D White mouthwash, you’re making a mistake.

I definitely noticed that using this stuff twice a day had a huge impact on how white my teeth were…and the best part? It’s also specially formulated to help prevent FUTURE stains.

How does that work? To be honest I have no idea. All I know is that when I use this stuff my teeth are visibly whiter. And for someone who drinks a ton of coffee every day, that’s saying something.

I personally use it once in the morning and once at night; it takes an extra minute or so, but it’s totally worth it. And it doesn’t sting, either which is a small but nice benefit.

Activated Charcoal

Okay, here’s where we’re going to start getting into the weird stuff. I was recommended this stuff around a year ago when I started looking into ways to whiten your teeth naturally.

And, as you can expect, my initial reaction was as follows: “Why the fuck would you put something that’s black on your teeth? Won’t that just make them more stained?”

Interestingly enough, after doing some research I found out that it does the opposite. If you’ve read my article on how to cure a hangover, you know that activated charcoal absorbs grime, toxins, and random gunk that isn’t really that good for your body. Well, what do you think it does when you put it on your teeth?

It absorbs the plaque and other crap that’s stuck on your teeth.

When I started using this stuff I actually noticed a difference after just one time. Just one time! I was pretty psyched; after a week or so my teeth had become WAY whiter.

To use it, I just scoop a little bit out (I use a tiny spoon) and put it on my toothbrush. I brush with activated charcoal after I’ve brushed with my Opalescence toothpaste, for about 2 minutes.

It’s really that simple. Just use it like you would normal toothpaste. There’s only one thing that’s a bit annoying about this stuff, which is that it can be irritating to clean up from your sink if you spill it or spit it all over the place.

When you’re finished brushing with it, try spitting it right down the drain. Other than that, the stuff works like a charm. Like I said, I’ve been using it for a while now and it continually impresses me. My teeth are WAY whiter than when I just used the other stuff alone.

Hydrogen Peroxide

If you get ANYTHING from this article, make it this.

Okay—you know how dentists charge you like $350 for just one session of putting stuff on your teeth to make them whiter? Have you ever wondered what they put on your teeth?

It’s this stuff. They put Hydrogen Peroxide on your teeth and charge you $350 when one bottle costs like $15.

Now, to be fair I’m sure they use a stronger concentration or something, but still—why the hell would you ever pay $350 for teeth whitening when you can just buy a bottle of the same chemical they use for $15?

I personally use this stuff 3-4 days a week. Sometimes more if it doesn’t irritate my gums.

Just pour a little bit on your toothbrush along with the Opalescence toothpaste and brush your teeth like normal. That’s it.

It literally adds no extra time to your morning bathroom routine and makes a MASSIVE difference.

Again, if you get anything from this list make it this. It will give you the most bang for your buck, no doubt. I use it as frequently as possible, but I find that when I use it too much my gums start to get kind of sore. I think that 3-4 days a week is a good limit.

Putting It All Together

Okay, so you want to follow my routine? Here’s what you do:

1. Brush with Opalescence toothpaste along with Hydrogen Peroxide.
   1. Do this for 2 minutes total. You can use the toothpaste every day, but only use the Hydrogen Peroxide 3-4 days a week.
2. Put a pea sized scoop of Activated Charcoal on your toothbrush and brush for 2 minutes.
3. Swish for 1 minute using Crest 3D White mouthwash.

That’s it. In just a few minutes extra and a few pennies extra a month, you can have visibly whiter teeth.

Summary

In conclusion, you do NOT need to pay some dentist $350 per session to smear Hydrogen Peroxide on your teeth. It simply isn’t necessary.

Just buy the stuff yourself and save a ton of money. To get the brightest, whitest teeth possible, consider using the toothpaste, mouthwash, and activated charcoal that I recommend as well.

You’ll start to notice a difference after just one use, but the real benefits will come after a week or two of use.

If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to shoot me a comment below. As always, I’ll see you guys next time.