How to kiss a girl? Now that’s a topic I could write for ages about.
I vividly remember my first kiss—I was about 14 at the time, and I’d met a beautiful girl named Michaela at my local pool.
She was 13, and although she was a year younger, she was FAR more experienced than I was. She basically guided me through everything.
Now, at age 24, I’ve come a long way—from cute childhood crush, to world renowned pickup artist, here are my thoughts on how to kiss a girl.
While learning how to kiss a girl is extremely important to avoid any sort of awkwardness, there’s actually something that’s even more important.
…and that’s learning to tell WHEN she even wants to be kissed in the first place.
It doesn’t matter how good your kissing skills are if she doesn’t want to be kissed—then you’re just looking for an awkward moment.
Before you go in for the kiss, you want to make sure that she’s sufficiently attracted to you.
This can be accomplished specifically by looking for indicators of interest, such as:
There’s a ton of IOI’s (indicators of interest) to keep an eye out for, but those are some of the biggest ones. In my experience, once a girl demonstrates 2-3 IOI’s, she’s most likely ready to be kissed.
Of course, there’s always exceptions to this, which is why social calibration is important. But in general, a high number of IOI’s means she wants to be kissed.
Another key factor in knowing how to kiss a girl is the LOCATION that you plan to kiss her in. Far too many guys believe that all locations are the same, and they couldn’t be more WRONG.
When it comes to kissing her, there’s certain “acceptable” places to do it, and certain “unacceptable” places to do it.
Some examples of acceptable places would be:
Generally anywhere that you can be alone with her, or any sort of sexualized environment (nightclubs, raves, etc.), is going to be ideal for kissing her. So if you’re on a first date at Starbucks, for example, consider pulling her to a better location before you go in for the move.
Here’s some examples of UNACCEPTABLE places to kiss her:
Hopefully you get the point by now. As a quick side note, guys with EXTREME game (rock stars and celebrities such as Russel Brand) can get away with kissing girls in places like this, but in general, especially if you’re a newbie at game, you want to avoid these places.
Once you’ve screened her for attraction to you, and once you’re in an ideal location to start making out, there’s a couple things to keep in mind.
First, there’s two types of kissing: the “lunge” kiss, and the “smooth” kiss. Each one has their own pros and cons.
If you’re just kissing her for the first time, I recommend the smooth kiss. It’s where you smoothly work your way closer to her until you inevitably start making out.
The lunge kiss, is just like it sounds—you basically lunge at her, pin her up against the wall, and start making out with her. This can work very well for guys who are HIGHLY socially calibrated, but if you do this on a girl that does not want to be kissed, get ready for a majorly awkward rejection.
Personally, when on a first date, I prefer the smooth kiss. There’s two critical tactics that make this work very well:
The first one is fairly self-explanatory. When you’re kissing a girl using this method, you don’t want to make any sudden jerky movements. You want everything to be slow, but confident—this is what girls call “being smooth.” It’s when you can escalate without engagement or awkwardness.
When you move closer to her, do it slowly but surely. When you go in for the kiss, slowly put your hand on the side of her head, and slowly go in for the kiss. Don’t just randomly jolt forward and smack your lips on hers—take your time and be smooth.
The second aspect, and arguably the more important aspect, is to CONTINUE TALKING while you’re going in for the kiss. While this may sound counter-intuitive, it actually works extremely well if you know how to flirt even a little.
The reason you continue talking while you go in for the kiss, is it occupies her logical mind with conversation—and NOT with rejecting you or saying no. If you can flirtatiously steer the conversation towards kissing her WITHOUT saying it, that’s even better.
For example, here’s what good “logical engagement” would look like:
Do you see how effortlessly and easily this conversation flows towards kissing her? In my years of gaming, I’ve learned you can turn ANYTHING towards being sexual and fun. It’s all about how you say it, and the confidence behind it.
There’s also a few other ways that you can test to see if she wants to be kissed. Gentlemen, do yourselves a favor and memorize all of these—they will save you a ton of rejections and awkwardness in the future if you can use them properly.
The first method is to simply look at her lips very quickly in the middle of a conversation. This will sexualize the air, and let her know what’s clearly on your mind. She will notice, trust me. If she looks back down at your lips, she wants to be kissed. If she doesn’t? Wait a little bit longer and try again.
The second way is to cup your hand and parse her hair behind her ear, gently brushing her cheek. If she either moves towards your hand, or looks up at you, then she wants to be kissed. If she moves away from your hand, or looks away, she probably needs more time to warm up to you.
Sometimes with shy girls especially, they’ll look down at the ground when you try to kiss them. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t want to be kissed (although it can). In this situation, I’ll gently grab her chin and pull it up to face me. If she resists, don’t persist. If she complies, then continue.
I know I dropped a lot of knowledge on you today, but the truth is that kissing a girl is incredibly simple. Once you arm yourselves with these little tricks and things to look out for, kissing a girl at the right time and in the right way is as easy as pie.
The biggest thing to remember, at least in my opinion, is to keep talking while you go in for the kiss. If you can steer the conversation in the direction of kissing her, without explicitly SAYING it, this will leave every girl breathless over how “smooth” you are to her.
If you’re looking for a quick, easy way to 10x your attractiveness to women, then look no further than my 7 Strategies to Develop Your Masculinity. It fixes the underlying problem with your game, by making you more MASCULINE, and thus far more naturally attractive to women.
As always, I hope you guys enjoyed the article. Feel free to leave any comments, questions, or concerns in the section down below…and I’ll see you next time!
Jon Anthony is a dating coach, fitness expert, and self-improvement guru. He dropped out of college to start Masculine Development in 2015, and has since been self-employed, helping men across the world achieve their best lives. You can best reach him on social media, or via email for questions.
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