Google “How to get your ex girlfriend back” sometime. You’ll see all types of lies.
“Just tell her you want a second chance,” or “apologize for what you did wrong,” aren’t going to work.
The reality is that getting an ex-girlfriend back is extremely difficult, and will not happen without some struggle.
That being said, it’s completely doable. I’ve done it before, and so can you—just follow these steps, and she’ll be yours in no time flat.
How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back
The most important thing you need to do, is follow this guide without hesitation.
I know, I know… you will want to text her at times. You will want to do stupid shit.
Don’t. You clicked here because you don’t know how to get your ex girlfriend back. Listen up and learn.
There are basically four steps involved in this process. Take a look:
Cut Off All Contact
Work On Yourself
Reach Out (Speak Normally)
Seize The Moment
Despite what the mainstream “dating gurus” tell you, getting your ex back won’t be easy. There’s no cut-and-dry solution.
…BUT, this four step method is the best way to go about it. If you follow these steps, there’s a high chance she’ll get back with you.
Step 1. Cut Off All Contact
The first thing you’ll want to do is stop contacting your ex.
I know, I know… she was your pride and joy, and now she’s gone.
It sucks. We’ve all been there. But the time to whine and complain is not now.
Can’t stop thinking about her? I know. It’s hard sometimes.
…but the BEST thing you can do for yourself, is to cut her off (at first).
Your brain needs time to heal. You need time to heal and to get over your grief.
The best way to do this is to block and/or ignore her on all social media platforms.
Don’t text her, don’t message her, don’t email her, don’t call her, don’t do ANYTHING!
The neurons in your brain need time to heal, and every time you contact her, you re-strengthen their bonds.
I recommend cutting off contact for at least 2-3 months. If you were really close, potentially even longer.
What’s important is that you take this time to grieve and focus on yourself though.
This brings us to the second, and most important step.
Step 2. Work on Yourself
It’s funny how most of the questions I get from guys have the same answer…
“Jon, how do I make a girl like me?” or “Jon, what do I say to her?”
…and even “Jon, how you get your ex girlfriend back?”
They almost all have the same answer, which is…
Focus on yourself.
The most important thing you can do as a man is improve your own life.
There’s an old saying in marketing that goes like this…
“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”
This is how you want to approach your dating life.
You want your life to be so fucking awesome, that she literally can’t ignore you.
She’s on Instagram? She sees you backstage at the hot new nightclub in LA.
She’s on Facebook? She sees that you flew your family out to Bali, because you love them.
She’s on Snapchat? She sees you riding around in a Lamborghini with 10 bitches by your side.
I know it seems shallow and stupid, but when she sees that you’ve MOVED ON and are improving your own life, she will begin to second guess herself.
It sounds dumb, but it’s right 100% of the time.
I’ve already written extensively about how to improve your own life on this blog, but here’s a few pointers:
Don’t ask “how to get your ex girlfriend back,” ask “how to improve your life.”
Maximize the four areas of life (health, wealth, love, and happiness)
DO NOT contact her for at least 2-3 months, unless she reaches out first
As I said, you can accurately divide life up into 4 different areas. Health, wealth, love, and happiness.
Let’s briefly explore how you can improve each one.
Improve Your Health
If you’re overweight, lose that weight.
If you’re skinny, build some muscle.
It’s really quite simple when you think about it.
Then again, I’ve been in the fitness industry for over a decade. So it all seems simple to me.
If you want a “stupid easy” guide to building a lean, sexy physique, then check out my “ Body of an Alpha” program.
If you don’t have a few bucks to spare (or if you’re just cheap), there’s also tons of free advice on my blog.
Here’s a few good articles on health and fitness:
You don’t have to “brag” about your newfound physique (once you get it) on social media, but it doesn’t hurt.
One thing I recommend every guy do is take a picture of himself at the beach looking jacked.
That way, it looks natural (not like a pose in the mirror). Protip: you can also use it as your tinder profile picture.
Getting jacked is relatively easy… once you know how. So study this blog like getting your ex back depends on it.
Improve Your Wealth
The second area of your life is wealth.
This is the one that usually takes the most time to get handled.
Now I’m not saying that you need to be making 7 figures to get your ex back (because you certainly don’t).
…but, it doesn’t hurt when you’re self-employed and making $25,000 a month. It doesn’t hurt one bit.
I personally make most of my money from the following:
Selling eBooks and video courses
Coaching men 1-on-1
Depending on your situation though, you might want to take a different route.
I get asked questions via email all the time… “Jon, what job should I take? What should I do?”
I almost never know what to say, because I don’t have enough information to know.
That being said, making money online isn’t hard. Every guy should do it as a side hustle.
When I first started out, I was only making $100/month or so. Now, it’s more than 100x that.
My, how the times have changed…
Improve Your Dating Life
The third area of your life is dating. This is the part you need to master.
It is also the hardest part to master after a breakup.
After breaking up with your ex girlfriend, all you want to do is get her back.
I know. It sucks. You don’t want any other women in your life just yet.
But you have to be strong and move on. Funny enough, moving on is what will get her back.
There’s an old saying in the pickup community…
“Go fuck ten other girls.”
That’s the advice they’d give you when you were
stuck on your oneitis.
…and that’s the advice I’d give you as well.
It sounds shallow, but it works. When you go meet other women, you realize how many other girls there are.
You realize that there’s hope.
Again, I have written extensively on this blog about how to get women. Just take a look
through the archives.
Improve Your Happiness
Most importantly… you need to work on your happiness.
How fulfilled are you in life? Are you happy? Like, GENUINELY happy?
If not, you’ve got some work to do.
Develop meaningful connections. Reach out to old friends.
Pick up some hobbies that you like.
Do you like to play the guitar? Start playing it more.
…or maybe you like to direct films? Pick it back up again.
Whatever it is that turns you on, do that.
In the immortal words of Joseph Campbell…
“Follow your bliss.”
Step 3. Reach Out
The third step on how to get your ex girlfriend back, is to reach out to her again.
BUT, and here’s the key—you ONLY want to do it when you’re ready.
If you do it too soon, when you’re still grieving, she will sense your neediness and be turned off.
Instead, just reach out and do the following:
Apologize for any dumb things you did, and the person you were (if applicable)
Say you hope she’s doing well
Tell her that you’re just checking in on her
That’s it. You don’t need to tell her some elaborate story and you don’t need to be super creative.
Just reach back out and get on her radar again.
It’s best if you reach out over text, because it’s quick and easy.
Read my post on
how to text a girl if you haven’t already, and apply that advice to your ex-girlfriend.
Once you do this, there’s almost a 99% chance that she will respond (even if it takes her a few days).
Don’t get insecure and needy if she doesn’t respond. Just wait.
Start slowly talking to her and ease your way back into her life. Don’t pressure her for anything just yet.
Just stay in touch with her, because (I would hope) you actually, genuinely care about her.
Send her a funny picture or a meme every once in a while. Ask her how she’s doing.
After a month or two of doing this, you can move onto step four.
Step 4. Seize The Moment
Now, it’s time to seize the moment.
I don’t know what the moment will look like…
…but when it comes, you want to seize it.
Maybe she calls you one night, and just wants to talk.
Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend, and wants to see you.
Whatever it is, there will be an “optimal moment” to go see her for the first time in months.
Do not waste this opportunity.
Seriously. They don’t come around very often (especially if you’re trying to get your ex girlfriend back).
Go see her, talk to her, hang out with her, or whatever else is required.
Chances are, if she wants to see you, it’s because she’s interested in you again.
Congratulations… you successfully got back on her radar. Now, just don’t goof it up again.
Frequently Asked Questions
I get a lot of questions about getting your girlfriend back.
It seems like this is something you really care about (as do I).
So, I’ve put together some common questions I get about this topic.
Here you go, man! I hope it helps.
How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
The key to getting your ex girlfriend back is to improve your own life.
Always remember… women are an ADDITION to your life! Not the sole purpose!
A man should always make his own happiness and success his own purpose.
Now, does that mean to be a dick and ignore women? Of course not!
Don’t go full MGTOW. Just understand that you should put these first:
If these things aren’t prioritized over women, it will be hard to get your ex back.
How to Get Your Girlfriend Back
This question is similar, but very different… it tells a different story.
If she’s isn’t really your “ex” but you’re in a weird limbo, try this advice.
Rekindle your connection by showing her you’re going places.
Always put your own shit first.
I’ve written about this before (read that article, seriously).
Show her that you’re going places, AND you want to take her there.
Once she realizes you’re a high quality man, her love for you will be restored.
What if She Has A Boyfriend Now?
If your ex has a boyfriend now, don’t sweat it. Again, the answer is the same…
…ALWAYS focus on your own life first! Why do you think I say this so much?
Because it’s fucking true. If you don’t put yourself first, nobody will love you.
You have to love yourself first, before she will fall back in love with you again.
Check out the archives on this blog, absorb the information, and apply it.
She’s Not Answering My Texts. What Do I Do Now?
If she’s not answering your texts, that’s fine. Just keep improving your life.
First, you should learn some
text game. Figure out which “phase” you’re in.
If she’s silent (AKA not responding), just continue on improving yourself.
If she’s friends with you on social media, start posting pictures of you doing cool shit.
I know it’s shallow, but it works. This is just how people are. Accept it and move on.
The Bottom Line
Just a few things that come to mind, when you’re learning how to get your ex girlfriend back…
Live a cool life. Show it off on social media.
I know it’s shallow. So what. Don’t be a complainer, just do it (trust me it will work).
If you have mutual friends, reach out to them.
Never underestimate how powerful a good word from her friends can be.
As always, feel free to reach out to me (via email or comments).
I get a lot of emails, so I don’t always respond quickly, but I try my best.
If you’re looking for the fastest way to 10x your attractiveness, and solve all your problems with women, then click here.
If not, then keep reading.
I hope you guys enjoyed the article, and I will see you next time. -Jon
PS – If you do manage to get your girlfriend back and want to get married, check out my buddy’s
engagement rings in Houston, Texas. He’s owns a diamond exchange down there, and it’s got some of the best engagement rings on the market. Tell him that Jon Anthony sent you, and he’ll hook you up with a good deal!