Learning to develop alpha male emotions is incredibly important in today’s ever-changing world. One second you may be faced with losing your job, and the next you may be forced to deal with a family crisis that you have little to no control over.
Strong masculine leaders know how to manage their feelings the right way. They know when it’s time to feel good and when it’s time to feel bad. They know how to rule their emotions in a way that help them support their advancement towards what they want to accomplish in life.
Soft boys, on the other hand, don’t control their feelings. Unfortunately, due to the chemicals in our food, the increasingly hostile environment towards males, and the overgrowth of feminine energy in our culture, too many men have turned into soft boys, or “soy boys” as I like to call them, who can’t handle their emotions.
Now, more than ever, is the time for you to handle your shit. Without strong, masculine leaders like you and I in this world, our culture will fall to ashes like the civilizations of the past. Here’s how you can learn to control your emotions, so that they’re not working against you, but rather working FOR you.
Men, there is an epidemic of soy boys out there today. They run our schools, they run our cities, and some of them have even infiltrated our government. The soy boy, also known as the beta male or the white knight, is completely dominated by his childhood emotional programming.
These “beta” emotions are essentially emotions that don’t serve any purpose except to weaken us. Now it’s important to understand that in some situation, these emotions might be GOOD, but for the most part in our modern world, they’re a crutch and should be eliminated entirely:
This is a bit of a paradox, because on one hand you need to fully accept and feel your emotions to grow your level of consciousness. On the other hand though, indulging in them can be terrible, and will often lead you down a negative spiral into depression, poverty, and ill health.
The beta male fundamentally views the world from a “victim paradigm.” In other words, everything is “their fault,” and nothing is the individual’s fault. You’re poor? Oh, you poor little baby. It’s not your fault! It’s the big bad rich guy’s fault, it’s your boss’s fault, and it’s the government’s fault!
The beta male’s emotions are outward centered, so in other words he gives away his power to others. He blames the cause of his emotions on other people, events, and things, rather than taking accountability for them and changing—just as an alpha male would do.
The strong masculine man, in sharp contrast to the beta male, has a different relationship to his emotions. An alpha male’s emotional fortitude fundamentally comes down to one simple aspect of his life: he has a purpose. This enables him to overcome almost any obstacle, and circumnavigate any negative emotions.
The strong masculine man has a direction. He has a purpose in life. He doesn’t just wander around aimlessly. He has an alpha male mindset. He has a vision. He yearns for something greater; something that’s higher than himself. Unlike the soft boy, he doesn’t just live in the moment, because he’s got shit to do. He has a vision.
…and if he doesn’t make progress, he doesn’t feel good. At least he feels that something is missing. He knows that something is not right. His emotions are directly related to his advancement towards his vision, so rather than holding him back, they’re actually HELPING him.
It can be tough, it can be hell, but if he has makes progress towards his goals, he’ll feel good. His reason rules his emotions. The strong masculine man decides what makes him feel good and what doesn’t. His emotions serve him. They support his advancement towards his goals.
I can have a hard day, it can be difficult, it can be painful, but in the end, if I’ve made progress, I’ll feel incredibly good. On the other hand, I can have an easy day, without effort, without pain, and with various little pleasures, but if I haven’t made progress towards my vision, I won’t feel good. I’ll even feel bad.
I’ve trained my emotions so that they can push me into the right direction. I’ve trained them so that they can help me support my reason. Conversely, the soft boy constantly uses his reason to serve his emotions. He constantly uses his logical mind to justify his failures of resisting temptation.
Ask yourself: do your emotions serve your purpose? Do they serve your reason? Are your emotions pushing you to become a little bit better each and every day, and to use the slight edge in your favor? Or are your feelings tripping you up and causing you enormous pain, all the while preventing you from accomplishing your goals?
If your feelings are wired like those of a soft boy, it’s time to reverse the process. A good starting point is to start working on your vision:
Visualize the answer to these questions in detail. Create something you want to fight for. Create a destination to strive for, a paradise to dream of, and an ideal lifestyle to achieve. Then, actually make concrete stepson how you plan to get there. Make plan that will make you progress towards your vision, otherwise it’s just a dream.
Take action. Get shit done. See how it makes you feel good when you learn to tie your emotions to a goal. This is the key in life, for when you can feel good over accomplishments, you’ll naturally start getting more and more things done. When you feel BAD at your lack of accomplishment, you’ll be motivated to change.
In conclusion, a beta male does not control his own emotions—he’s like a leaf in the wind, being blown around by fate, never to accomplish anything. There are far too many men like this, and although it’s certainly a tragedy, it just makes it that much easier for alpha males like us.
When you learn to create a “why” you can bear almost any “how.” Seriously contemplate where you want to be in five years (I recommend Jordan B. Peterson’s Future Authoring program), and take notes every day on how you’re progressing towards creating your ideal lifestyle.
In short, beta males are externally focused. They let external circumstances dictate their emotions, while alpha males CHOOSE what will affect their emotions. Don’t get sad over stupid little shit like a beta male. Get MAD over not accomplishing your goals, and then take action.
I hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed this guest post. Like many posts on this blog, it involves a paradox—the truth is hardly ever absolute and clear cut, it’s often filled with nuance. If you happen to have any questions be sure to leave a comment down below, and as always I’ll see you next time.
Jon Anthony is a dating coach, fitness expert, and self-improvement guru. He dropped out of college to start Masculine Development in 2015, and has since been self-employed, helping men across the world achieve their best lives. You can best reach him on social media, or via email for questions.