Would you rather have a one night stand with Megan Fox, or be her best friend?
Most guys, upon being asked this question, would respond with the following: “Jon, are you JOKING? Of course I’d rather fuck her!”
Most guys would KILL to have a one night stand with Megan Fox; they get friend-zoned enough, why would they ever want to be her best friend?
This may be a complete reality-shifting mind-fuck for most guys out there, but what if I told you that it’s infinitely better to be Megan Fox’s best friend, than to have a one night stand with her?
When I first got into game, I was all about cold approaching girls and getting one night stands. I’d go out to clubs, bars, malls…wherever there was hot girls, you could bet I’d be there.
I’d chat them all up, get their numbers, and pull some of them home. Some weeks I’d only manage to get a date or two, and others I’d be fucking a new girl every other day.
My approach to game was very single-minded: go out and have one night stands.
After all, what else could there be to game? Why the hell would I want to be…”friends” with a girl? What was the benefit in that? (I was pretty shallow at the time).
Well, it wasn’t until later that I was exposed to the “farming vs. hunting” theory of game. You see, after fucking so many new girls, I started to get tired of having so few of them stick around. Every time I wanted to fuck a new girl, I’d have to go out and meet one…and although I could do it (not on all nights, but on many), it was very time consuming.
But then, one of my mentors in the game taught me about the farming vs. hunting approach.
As crude of an analogy as this is, think of it like this: hunting is going out and trying to find new girls. Farming, however, is cultivating relationships that will pay off more in the long run. Hunting is going out to a club and meeting a new girl. Farming is cultivating a relationship with a girl that will eventually expose you to her entire social circle of friends.
Do you see how it might pay off to be friends with a girl now?
Hunting is the approach that I took for a while—any time I wanted to fuck a new girl, I’d have to go out and meet one. With farming, however, you cultivate relationships with girls that will pay off later.
For example—take a party girl that I met a couple years back. Despite the fact that she was literally sending me nudes and “accidentally” drunk texting me, asking to fuck, I refused to fuck her.
Why? Because party girls always have dozens of other friends that are party girls. So, when I tell her that I just want to be friends, what do you think happens?
Now, all of a sudden, she invites me to all of her parties—I get to meet literally tons of hot girls that love to party through this one connection. Every time she introduces me to one of her friends, you can guarantee that she’s already heard of me.
“This is Jon, isn’t he cool?” An opener like this means infinitely more than any sort of game you can spit. When a girl’s friends think you’re cool, you’re already in.
Farming, AKA building a network of girls who you’re friends with, is a great way to take your game to the next level. But, before I address some of the benefits, I want to clarify a distinction.
Most guys, when they get friend zoned, try really hard to fuck a girl, but she just isn’t into them; so she says that they should just be friends. This is not ideal, and it is not what I am referring to in this article.
Instead, I’m referring to when YOU choose to friend zone HER. This is much more ideal.
First off, it communicates that you’re a man of abundance—how often do you think hot girls get friend zoned? Practically never. By you not being afraid to friend zone her, you’re communicating that you probably have dozens of other girls on standby.
Second, when you friend zone her, you get all of the benefits that come with being her friend (as opposed to if she friend zones you, where you’re not actually her friend, she just isn’t interested in you).
Now, obviously it’d be ideal to BOTH fuck a girl and be good friends with her, but this is not always possible.
A lot of the time, if you try to do both, she won’t introduce you to her friends, because she’ll be afraid that they’ll create competition for her. She’ll also tend to get jealous more easily.
This is why it is sometimes a wise idea to communicate the fact that you’re not interested in her sexually, but just want to be friends—if she realizes that there will be no sexual activity taking place, she won’t get jealous or insecure about introducing you to her friends.
Ultimately, you’ll just have to play it out and see what’s ideal for you. To be honest this article is rather advanced, but I’m sure there’s some advanced PUA’s that read my blog so I’m going to put this out there anyways.
As I said before, the most obvious benefit of having a lot of girl friends (not to be confused with girlfriends) is that you’ll gain access to their social circle. This is a truly beautiful thing.
Generally speaking, girls tend to hang out with other girls that are around the same level of “hotness,” to put it crassly. So, what this means, is that if you’re friends with a gorgeous girl, and she invites you to a party, who do you think will be there? You guessed it, a bunch of gorgeous girls.
So not only will you have more parties to go to, and more social events to go to, but you’ll gain access to way more hot women.
But the benefits go far beyond this. Another main benefit is that when you have a ton of female friends, everything you do is polished.
If you’re wearing a T-Shirt that you think is cool, but is really dorky, they will tell you. Believe me, they will tell you—they’ll roast you for it. If you can’t properly match your clothes, they’ll let you know, too.
If you’re wearing a cologne that smells like shit, they’ll speak up—and if you’re wearing a cologne that smells like raw sex-appeal, they’ll speak up about that, too.
Having a lot of friends that are women teaches you to have better style, better emotional communication, and to be more smooth. Plus, you get a MASSIVE insight into how hot girls think.
When she’s annoyed over some guy who fucked things up with her, who do you think she’s going to talk to? You.
She’ll complain to you about guys that are being needy, guys that are being creepy, and she’ll cry on your shoulder over that bad boy that she just cant seem to hold onto.
In other words, you’ll learn very quickly what to do, and more importantly, what NOT to do.
As I alluded to before, what I’m NOT referring to is when a girl friend zones you. This is bad.
What happens with 99% of guys is that they end up chasing some girl, and she can sense that they have no other options, so she starts to use you. She uses you for free lunches, she uses you to go shopping with her, she uses you for validation…she uses you for just about everything except sex.
Then, when you have your one little shot with her, you escalate—and she tells you that she just wants to be friends. You go around wondering what you did wrong.
“Should I have gone in for the kiss a different way? Was it something I said?” But you don’t realize that you fucked up MONTHS ago by constantly chasing her.
This is the bad friend zone. When a girl says that she just wants to be friends, because she’s turned off by your needy, leechy behavior.
This is the bad version of the friend zone. Instead, what we want, is the good version: where you friend zone HER.
When you friend zone her, you’re the one taking the initiative. And because you aren’t desperately chasing her, which always ends with her turning you down, she still has respect for you. This is what makes a male/female friendship possible; if she doesn’t have respect for you, which she WON’T if you chase her, then she’s going to say that she wants to be “friends,” but really she just wants you to stick around for her own validation.
Don’t fall for this trap. Instead, it’s your turn to friend zone her.
When you friend zone her, it immediately communicates three things:
These are all three very powerful things—hot girls only ever get friend zoned by the upper echelon of players, so if you can pull it off, she’ll immediately view you as a player (and might even want to fuck you more).
The key is to be congruent, however. Don’t just friend zone her to get benefits. Friend zone her, because you actually can’t juggle another girl (you’ve already got too many) or because you enjoy her company, but don’t have sexual chemistry.
If you’re a newbie, I urge you to avoid friend zoning hot girls. Why? Because as a newbie, your number one priority is this: fuck as many girls as possible.
I get a lot of slack from women who read my blog for saying this, but they don’t get it—as a newbie, you’re probably a virgin or you’ve had sex like twice. You NEED to experience different women so you even know what you want to begin with.
Women will scream and shout and call me a sexist, but what they don’t get is that they don’t HAVE to go out there and fuck guys to know what they want, since dozens of guys are already trying to fuck THEM on a regular basis.
As a man, you need to go out there and experience multiple women. Then, and ONLY THEN, can you decide to be in a relationship with a woman; anyone who tells a newbie to settle down has no fucking clue what they’re talking about.
If you’re a newbie, literally ignore this article. Focus on learning the basics: how to talk to women in a sexy way, how to make her laugh, how to escalate, and how to sleep with a new girl every week.
Then, once you get some experience, you can focus on making friends and having relationships with women.
BUT! Until then, do not fall into this trap. Take my word for it.
All in all, having a lot of female friends can do a lot for you. It gives you access to their social circles, it provides you with companionship, and it makes sure that everything you do is polished.
They’ll invite you to cool parties, help you pick out cool clothes that other women would find attractive, and they’ll let you know if you’re doing something weird.
But, remember—if you’re a newbie, don’t worry about friend zoning women yet. Just worry about getting your notch count up to 30 or 40 first.
If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, be sure to let me know…and as always, I’ll see you next time.
Jon Anthony is a world renowned dating coach and the founder of Masculine Development, a website specifically dedicated to helping men improve their personal, dating, and financial lives. After years of training men how to attract women, build muscle, and make more money, Jon created the "7 Strategies" program to help kickstart your journey to success. Jon firmly believes that every man should have control over his own life, and he created Masculine Development to share his passion with men who want success in all areas.