Oh, boy…here we go. It’s another one of these posts. Another one of those posts where I’m going to spill my heart out and feel like a total retard (but probably help a lot of guys in the process). I’ll try my best not to sugar coat this and to really speak from the heart. Sometimes I have trouble doing that for everyone online to see.
This topic of this post will be, you guessed it, how to go out alone. There’s a ton of reasons why you may have to go out alone, and while you may be really motivated to do so, it’s not always that fun. Going out alone is probably one of the hardest things that I’ve taught myself to do, but it’s a great skill to learn.
If you’re serious about getting good with girls (sleeping with 100+) then you’l NEED to go out alone at some point. Every guy struggles with this, believe me I’ve been there, but there’s no way around it. Getting good at going out alone is crucial if you’re serious about this.
Going out alone will be hard. It will suck. You will feel weird at times, but that’s okay. Whatever it is you’re worried about, believe me, I’ve probably experienced it. Better yet, I know exactly how to avoid it, and how to kill it when you go out alone. So with no further ado, here’s the Jon Anthony field guide to going out alone.
I guess the first logical question, is why SHOULD you even go out alone. I mean, isn’t it better to have a wing man? Isn’t it great when you have two guys who can work together, create a great vibe, and talk to girls as a team? Yeah, it fucking is great—but you won’t always have that.
There’s going to be times when your friends won’t want to go out with you. This will especially be the case if your friends aren’t into self improvement. I used to hate it when I’d want to go out and pick up chicks, but none of my friends would want to. “Nah, dude let’s stay home and smoke weed!” or “Let’s just chill” they’d say.
Even when you do have friends who are into self improvement, they won’t always be there to go out with you. Sometimes your friends won’t be in town, or maybe they already have plans tonight. Other times they’ll be tired from a long day at work, or maybe they’ll be working on some major online video course that’s launching soon (this is me).
Sometimes you can get away with scheduling a date last minute, but this won’t always work. So what’s a guy to do when he wants to go have fun, meet cool dudes, and pick up hot girls? Well, the only REAL thing you can do is go out alone. I know it sucks, but believe me, it’s not as hard as you think.
Going out alone is one of the hardest things I ever did. No bullshit. It never came naturally, AT ALL—in fact, the opposite came naturally. I was more content just sitting at home and playing Halo 3. I’d rather level up my character on World of Warcraft than go out alone. It seemed stupid at the time.
But, eventually I reached a point where enough was enough. I was tired of my friend group never wanting to go out. I was tired of doing the same old stupid thing over and over again. I wanted to fuck hot girls, and I wanted to eventually build some meaningful relationships. I had to go out alone.
The #1 thing that will stop you when going out is your approach anxiety. I remember when I used to be so nervous I would start sweating and shaking HOURS before I even left my house. It was really bad, so don’t think that you’re alone if this is you—most guys can’t go out alone at all.
There’s definitely supplements you can take to help with anxiety, but ultimately when it really comes down to it, you just have to stop being a pussy. So what if you get rejected once or twice? Who the hell cares? I’ve been BRUTALLY rejected numerous times, and I’ll tell you what—I’m happier than ever.
The feeling that I get when I go out, even though I’m anxious and introverted, is incredible. Nothing can compare to it. I’ve NEVER been sad that I went out, because even if I fail and don’t go home with a girl that night, I’m ALWAYS proud of myself. I made the right decision, and I learned something too.
Before you even go out, you need to have a few basic things handled. Don’t use this as an excuse to avoid going out forever of course, but still try to stack all the odds in your favor. When you go out alone, getting over the initial “hump” (which I will talk about later) can be hard.
So, you want the following things stacked in your favor:
It’s really not THAT hard to stack these things in your favor, especially if you have this blog (shameless self-plug). I’ve already written tons of articles on the best colognes, all of the best workout routines, and how to maximize your SMV (sexual marketplace value), so I’m just going to touch upon the basics here.
First off, you’ll want to get your style on point. Make sure your clothes fit well, and don’t be afraid to drop a few hundred bucks on some designer brands. When you first walk up to a girl she’s going to profile you within seconds, so you want all the odds stacked in your favor.
“B-but Jon, I thought game was more important than looks?” someone will inevitably ask. Yes, it is. No shit. Game is more important than looks, I’ve learned this 100x over. But if you’re just starting to go out, YOU DON’T HAVE GAME. So maximize your fucking looks!
Start doing the “Body of an Alpha” workout routine, which will help you build a body that draws women to you like a moth to a flame. Your muscular physique will show, even through heavy clothes, so it gives you an instant advantage when trying to pull girls. If you’re a hardgainer, consider taking some SARMs (like legal steroids, but better).
Get a good haircut. Find the most expensive salon in your area, and get a $90 haircut (maybe more if you’re in LA or NYC). Clip your nails, groom your beard, and trim your pubic hairs—the fact that guys don’t do this and except girls to blow them is insane. Do it and thank me later.
Start using Tactical Soap. It’s laced with bio-identical pheromones, which literally turn women on. No, this is not a joke—this stuff is the real deal. Pheromones are basically chemicals that your body sweats out, signalling that you’re a high-test alpha male who girls should fuck. I always wear this soap, and girls ALWAYS tell me I smell amazing.
The #1 obstacle you’re going to face is OVER-THINKING. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve refused to go out, simply because I “small chunk” everything in my head. Rather than just thinking “Oh yeah, I’m gonna go out,” I end up thinking about all the stuff I need to do in order to get out there.
NO! FUCK THAT BULLSHIT! Do not go out tomorrow, go out TONIGHT! Don’t overthink this shit, it’s the easiest thing in the world. You should literally be thinking something as simple as: “I’m gonna go out tonight,” and that’s it. Just go through the motions, only focus on what’s right in front of you. Do whatever it takes.
People say that boyfriends are the biggest cock block. They say that a girl’s friends are the biggest cock block. They say that parents are the biggest cock block, that alcohol is the biggest cock block, and that bouncers are the biggest cock block. But do you know what? It’s none of those things—OVER THINKING is the biggest cock block of them all.
Like I said, don’t overthink things. When it really comes down to it, hooking up with hot chicks is pretty simple. All you have to do is follow these six steps, and just rinse-wash-repeat until it ends up in your favor. Don’t be afraid of rejection, because it’s not about you.
Getting girls is a numbers game. Half the time it’s not even about whether she’s into you, it’s about if she’s sexually available. Here’s the six steps:
That’s really all there is to it. There’s tons of ridiculous programs online over-complicating things, and to be fair game is pretty complicated. There’s a lot of nuances to social interactions, but when it REALLY comes down to it, things are pretty simple. Just approach a girl, screen her for sexual availability, go home with her, and then escalate. Easy peasy.
When you go out alone, you want to minimize time between interactions. The reason why is because it’s VERY easy to get in your head when you go out alone. It’s easy to just say “I’ll approach a girl in a little bit,” and then keep making excuses, until before you know it, the night is over.
Okay, so you see a girl that you find attractive. Walk up to her, and square up. Face her, and look her in the eye. Use one of my openers (seriously, copy them verbatim). Don’t approach her from behind, because that will scare the shit out of her. When you’re talking to her, maintain eye contact and don’t be too serious.
When you’re talking to her, try to get right at the edge of her personal bubble—about 18 inches. Anything closer and you’re being a bit weird, and anything farther away and she won’t know what to think. About 18 inches is perfect, because it shows you’re sexually interested in her, but you still respect her boundaries.
Most guys think that you need to be some 6’2″ stud to get laid regularly, but this is bullshit. In fact, getting laid regularly is pretty easy—if you know how to screen girls for sexual availability. Rather than wasting your time on the girls that have a boyfriend, don’t have good logistics, or don’t want to hook up, spend your time on the girls that are available.
Be on the lookout for IOI’s—the more the better. You should have already memorized the 7 Most Important Indicators of Interest by now, but if not then go back and do so. She will probably shit test you a few times, but that’s okay—just pass them with flying colors.
If she gives you a lot of IOI’s, and you’ve screened her and she’s sexually available, then it’s time to move onto step #3: getting her alone.
Okay, admittedly that sounds a lot creepier than I thought it would, but we all know it’s true. If you’re attracted to a girl, and she’s attracted to you, then you’ll BOTH want to get alone. Start by asking her to go get some fresh air. Hang out with her outside the club for a while and just chat.
Build comfort. Girls have two major “check marks” that need to be checked off before you can sleep with her: comfort and attraction. If she’s attracted to you, but isn’t comfortable with you, she won’t want to be alone. If she’s comfortable with you, but not attracted to you, she won’t want to have sex.
You need both. Sometimes it can be useful to just connect with her a bit on an emotional level before you try to have sex with her. Other times, she just wants a quick hookup and doesn’t care. It’s up to you to figure out which situation you’re in, but whatever you do, play it smart.
Hopefully I don’t have to explain what to do here, because it’s fairly self-evident. Most guys know what to do when they’re alone with a girl who is attracted to them, but they just psyche themselves out due to anxiety. “Is this the right time to kiss her? What about now?”
Eventually you’ll get a feeling for the “right time” to kiss her, but to be honest there’s never really a “right time.” You just have to do it. Grow a pair of balls and go in for the kiss. The absolute WORST that could happen is she just turns her head away, and then you just try again in a little bit if she seems more receptive.
If you’re reading this right now, you’re probably struggling to get girls in your life. Believe me, I know what that’s like. As embarrassing as this is to admit, I went YEARS without having many girls in my life. I wasn’t necessarily a bad looking kid, but I just had no confidence. I had no self-esteem, and was content staying in my own world.
If this is you, realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have been there, and I know it sucks—but it gets better. The truth is that a lot of guys are absolutely terrified of going out alone, but it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, if you simply put in a little bit of work (and follow this guide) you’ll get over your fears in no time.
If you’re really struggling with getting girls into your life, consider checking out the “7 Strategies” I used to lift myself out of a sexless, depressed, boring life, into being a fucking boss who conquers shit head on and grabs life by the horns. It’s helped thousands of other men, and it can help you too.
I hope that this article touched some of you, I really do. If you’ve got ANY questions, and I mean ANY questions at all, don’t hesitate to ask me down in the comments section below. As always, I hope you guys enjoyed the article, and I’ll see you next time!
Jon Anthony is a dating coach, fitness expert, and self-improvement guru. He dropped out of college to start Masculine Development in 2015, and has since been self-employed, helping men across the world achieve their best lives. You can best reach him on social media, or via email for questions.