I talk a lot about being decisive and assertive on my blog, and how these characteristics are good when it comes to attracting women.
Women want a man who’s confident, and isn’t afraid to escalate things sexually; they want a man who’s decisive, and who takes action. They want a man who takes the lead.
But, as with most things in game, there’s a lot of nuance involved—for example, when I’m going up to a woman in a club and approaching her, yes I am extremely decisive and assertive.
Yes, I grab her by the hand, spin her around, and sometimes go in for an instant kiss, BUT all the while, I’m scanning her body language to see if I’m making her feel uncomfortable or awkward.
Would you rather have a one night stand with Megan Fox, or be her best friend?
Most guys, upon being asked this question, would respond with the following: “Jon, are you JOKING? Of course I’d rather fuck her!”
Most guys would KILL to have a one night stand with Megan Fox; they get friend-zoned enough, why would they ever want to be her best friend?
This may be a complete reality-shifting mind-fuck for most guys out there, but what if I told you that it’s infinitely better to be Megan Fox’s best friend, than to have a one night stand with her?
As I was sitting at home, putting some of the finishing touches on an article for Masculine Development, I got a text from my wingman.
“Dude, come through. There’s tons of hot girls here.” Eager to go out after having been working all day, I quickly replied: “Where at?” He shot me an address, and I proceeded to go through my typical pre-party routine.
I hammered out some calisthenics to wake up and get the blood pumping, took an ice cold shower to enhance my alertness, and pounded down a cup of piping hot coffee for that mental boost (by the way if you haven’t tried taking a cold shower and then drinking hot coffee right after, it’s amazing).
I put on my custom tailored denim jeans, a black V-neck, and a trendy sports jacked. I slipped on my Nike Flyknit Roshe’s, spritzed myself with one of my favorite, inexpensive sex-appeal-oozing colognes, and shot out the door.
As I took an Uber to the party, I took some deep breaths and meditated to relax my mind after a long day of work. If you don’t meditate before going out and clubbing, I highly recommend it—meditation actually shoots your game through the roof, due to it creating a calm sense of not giving a fuck.
“We’re here,” my Uber driver said. I gave him a tip, jumped out of the car, and texted my wingman: “I’m here.” “Meet me out back,” he said.
What’s up, guys. Recently I got a question from our friend Jay asking for advice on how to talk to girls. Here’s an excerpt from the email that he sent me:
“My lack of confidence with women is in the ability to start and carry on a conversation beyond a few minutes. Is there any material (websites, books, etc) or advice you can give on how to initiate and keep a conversation going?”
In other words, he doesn’t know how to talk to girls.
First off, this is an extremely common problem—you are not alone. Literally millions of men have trouble carrying on a conversation with a girl. “What do I say?” “Do I say this?” “How should I respond?” they ask.
Well, fortunately for you, I’ve got an answer. But first, I’d like to regale you with a quite relevant story about the origins of PUA.
The title isn’t entirely accurate. Really, it should say “Why Women Don’t Give A Shit About Looks [If You Have Good Game],” but that doesn’t sound very good. In this article, I will attempt to break down a model that I use to understand female attraction.
The model of primary vs. secondary sexual characteristics. Most men will outright reject this model—they’ve been brainwashed from a young age to believe that they know what women want. They don’t.
But, if you’re one of the few men who can understand, and better yet, apply this model, your sex life will improve by leaps and bounds.
“Oh god,” I thought. “You better not mess this up, Jon.” A gorgeous, dirty blonde girl of 18 was on my bed, with her ass up in the air. “Fuck me, daddy!” she begged.
I stuck my dick inside of her, and she moaned: “Oh god, put it all the way in!” As I shoved my dick inside of her, I felt that familiar feeling of being on the edge of cumming. “FUCK not yet! It’s only been like 20 seconds,” I thought. “FUCK! Nonononoonooooo!!! fuck fuck FUCK.” I came.
“Did you cum already?” she said with disappointment.
The shame was absolutely unbearable. It was at that moment that I made up my mind. I was determined to figure out how I could last longer in bed.
Gentlemen, this is going to be the definitive guide to any newbie trying to learn game as fast as possible. I’ve thought a lot about potentially putting this in an eBook, and selling it to make some good money, but I’d honestly rather just give it out for free.
This all started months ago, actually—if you read my blog on the regular, you know I talk about periods of immersion vs. periods of maintenance. Basically the idea is that if you want to get really good at something, you have to immerse yourself in it for a period of time. But, if you don’t want to lose the skill, you have to “maintain” it and still practice it a couple times a week.
This is the definitive article for guys who want to get monster game from just a month of immersion.
So, just how do you get a girl’s number? This is a question that many men struggle with, and whether you’re just trying to have a better sex life in general, or get a specific girl’s number, I believe that this article will solve your problem. But first I’m going to tell you a story…I think it will clarify my point.
Several days ago, I woke up around noon, after a late night. “Ugh fuck,” I murmured as I awoke to a pounding headache. I decided to go to my local organic market and get some fresh squeezed vegetable juice and a fish sandwich, so I got up, got out of bed, and slipped on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I slid my feet into my Minnetonka slippers, grabbed my keys and wallet, and headed out the door.
As I got in line to order my beet, apple, and kale juice blend, I saw a sexy little blonde thing right in front of me. “Hey,” I said. She smiled, and said “hey,” back. I ordered my juice, and went next door to order a fish sandwich. I sat outside and, what do you know, the same sexy blonde girl was there with an equally sexy Latina girl.
Learning game as a newbie is one of the toughest things that you will ever do, but it’s also one of the most rewarding things that you will ever do. I never had “natural” game. I was never born with the ability to effortlessly attract women, like several very fortunate men are. But it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be a natural to learn game with girls. You just have to put in the work.
In this article I will address several things that often make it difficult to learn game as a newbie, and how you can overcome them. I will also touch upon the course of action that you should be taking to learn game as a newbie.
Remember that I am speaking from experience here. Don’t worry if you suck with girls, because you CAN get better.
I recall being introduced into the PUA community when I was around the age of 16. It wasn’t until I was actually 18 or 19 that I started taking action, however. Why did I wait so long? It’s actually pretty simple: I was scared as fuck.
When you’ve never slept with a girl, it can be incredibly intimidating to walk up to a stunner in the club. I can relate to this 100%, and in fact, to this day I still get nervous. It’s just a part of a being human.
There are several things that make it difficult to learn game as a newbie, but it all really boils down to one emotion: fear.
Having the right hobbies can make it tremendously easier to get laid, for two main reasons.
First, hobbies communicate that you’re a well-rounded human being who is passionate about something.
The guitarist, competitive boxer, and amateur cyclist all have something in common: they’re human. They’re in touch with the human experience, with their passion, and with life. Women find this incredibly attractive.
Second, they grant you access to certain social circles that would previously be unavailable to you; and they sometimes catapult you up to the alpha male of the social circle.
Being involved with a certain hobby will put you around others who are also involved in that hobby. Sometimes they’ll be men, and sometimes they’ll be women. Either way, a good hobby will expand your social circle and will help you make friends and get more girls.