One of the biggest temptations that guys trying to get laid face is drinking alcohol. Whether you’re going to that posh new lounge, or the ultra sleek nightclub, there’s always a hot cocktail waitress who’s going to ask you what you want to drink.
This coupled with the fact that most guys have severe approach anxiety, makes it extremely difficult to resist ordering a drink (or ten). But how do you avoid a hangover? Or better yet, is there a hangover cure? Drinking wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the terrible hangovers that hinder your physical and mental performance for the next day.
Ideally, you shouldn’t be drinking very much at all. Drinking should be an event to remember, NOT a lifestyle. That being said, everyone wants to avoid a hangover. Whether you’re a college kid who wants to go out and party, but has an exam the next day, or a millionaire PUA living in Los Angeles, my advice on the best hangover cure will work for you.
Before we discuss the best hangover cure, we have to know what causes one in the first place. There are several main factors that contribute to a hangover:
Alcohol dehydrates you, plain and simple. This is one of the major reasons why drinking is so bad for building muscle. Since muscle is comprised of a large portion of water, alcohol will naturally dehydrate your muscles, leading to increased recovery time and decreased performance.
In addition to this, however, dehydration also has a lot of different negative effects on your body. Dehydration from alcohol is what gives you that headache the next day. It’s what makes your muscles feel weaker. It’s what gives you that sticky tongue and horrible cotton mouth.
Simply drinking a lot of water the night before is an effective hangover cure, but we’ll go a little bit deeper since everyone knows that.
Drinking alcohol causes your stomach to produce more stomach acid than usual. This is one of the reasons why you’re often extremely nauseous the morning after—your stomach is telling you to stop eating, so that it can deal with the fucked up biochemistry going on down there.
This is also what can sometimes give you the shits the next morning; the acid from your stomach impacts your intestines’ acidity levels, causing a bit of a problem (to put it lightly).
When your body tries to break alcohol down, it ends up producing a chemical that’s actually more toxic than the alcohol itself: acetaldehyde. There isn’t too much that you can do about this other than not drink very much.
If you want to completely avoid a hangover, the only way is to not drink at all, so that your body doesn’t produce this toxic chemical. That being said, you can still greatly minimize the negative effects of alcohol by following my advice.
Congeners are basically synonymous with “toxins.” They’re chemical compounds that are formed when the potatoes, rye, or whatever is fermented to create alcohol. Certain types of alcohol have more congeners, which means that certain types of alcohol give you more of a hangover.
Be sure to avoid beer, whiskey, and any of the darker alcohols. Generally speaking vodka has the least amount of toxins, so stick to the Red Bull and vodka’s.
Obviously I still drink beer and other darker drinks, but just keep in mind that it’s harder to avoid a hangover due to the excess of toxins. In general, the best hangover cure is to simply drink vodka. I know that my whiskey or beer hangovers are literally five times worse than a vodka hangover.
Avoiding a hangover comes down to a three-pronged approach:
A lot of advice on how to avoid a hangover is stuff like “Don’t drink as much,” or “Drink on a full stomach.” No fucking shit, Sherlock. I’m not going to give you dumb advice like that, because it’s practically useless.
Obviously if you want a 100% hangover cure, then just don’t drink. But you’re not here for that. You want to know the best hangover cure if you’re going to be drinking. Well, here’s some good advice:
If you want to avoid a hangover, you have to start hydrating the morning you plan on drinking. Personally, I hydrate 24/7 because it’s crucial to building muscle and functioning at an optimal level.
Aim to drink around a gallon a day. When I’m taking creatine, pre-workouts, and bulking, I often drink a gallon and a half.
Here’s what you do. Buy one of those gallon water jugs, and use a permanent marker to divide it into fourths. That way you can keep track of how much water you should be drinking. If you wake up at 8:00AM, then you should aim to finish it all by around 12:00PM or earlier if you’re going out.
So finish the first quarter by noon, the second by 4PM, the third by 8PM, and the last quarter by midnight.
There’s also a compounding effect when it comes to hydration. In other words, if you drink a gallon of water a day for a week, you’ll be more hydrated on day 7 than you will on day 2 or 3. This is because it takes your body some time to adjust and store the water in your cells.
So ideally you should drink a gallon of water a day on the regular. This in and of itself is probably the best hangover cure out there. It’s very simple, yet nobody ever drinks a gallon of water a day, so those that do can easily avoid a bad hangover.
There’s several ways that you can minimize stomach irritation. Most people opt for the Tums, but in my experience this approach is limited.
Often times they only work temporarily, causing you to wake-up in the morning with a godawful gut-ache. Sometimes they don’t even work at all.
What if I told you that you could not only avoid stomach irritation, but absorb toxins (the third way to avoid a hangover), with a couple tablespoons of Bentonite Clay? “Bentonite Clay? What the fuck is that shit?” I can hear you ask. Let me tell you what it is: magic.
Not only does it neutralize stomach acid, which will decrease your hangover nausea and diarrhea, but it will also absorb any toxins that the alcohol contains. Other cultures have been using this stuff as a natural hangover cure for centuries.
I found this little gem when I was a Freshman in college, trying to figure out what the best hangover cure was. I’d read a few reviews online and had heard people saying good things about it, but decided to try it out myself. I was not disappointed.
The very first night I tried it, I had drank more than I can remember. Probably like 10-12 drinks. I took a little swig of the stuff (around 2 tablespoons is the recommended dose) and passed out.
I woke up the next morning and rushed to the bathroom out of habit. The fuck? I didn’t throw up, I didn’t shit my brains out, and I didn’t even feel nauseous. In fact, come to think of it, I felt pretty good.
I found out that bentonite clay has been used as a natural remedy to heartburn and indigestion for millenia. Even animals can be seen eating clay patches in the dirt; somehow they instinctively recognize that it aids their digestion.
So, to avoid nausea, heartburn, and diarrhea, and to also avoid toxins, I recommend drinking two tablespoons of bentonite clay before you go to bed. Just mix it with water, and you’re good to go.
It doesn’t taste nearly as bad as you think it might. It’s kind of an earthy, dull taste. And even if it did taste bad, it’d be worth it, since it’s basically an all natural hangover cure.
For absorbing toxins, I recommend taking two pills of activated charcoal while you’re drinking. This is perhaps the best hangover cure out there. Activated charcoal is some legit shit. I’ve volunteered as an EMT before, and they actually carry it on their ambulances in case a child swallows bleach or something.
Technically it doesn’t absorb anything, however. Rather, it binds to toxins that could potentially harm you or cause a hangover. It’s also great for easing bloating and gas, which can happen when you shotgun 10 beers in an hour.
Just take two capsules of activated charcoal while you’re drinking and you’ll absorb 95% of the toxins that cause a hangover. Just this alone has saved me countless hangovers—trust me, it works very well.
If you do just one of the things that I’ve mentioned, you’ll significantly reduce the pain you experience after a night of ample drinking. But, if you do the entire protocol, which is everything that I’ve mentioned, you’ll cut it down by around 85%.
The “protocol” is basically as follows:
That’s it. No artificial crap, no expensive ingredients…just a natural hangover cure. By adhering to these simple guidelines, you’ll be able to avoid the vast majority of ailments that come from drinking alcohol.
If you have any questions or comments, be sure to leave them down below. I love hearing from my followers. I hope that you guys will be able to put this to use, and as always, I’ll see you next time.
Jon Anthony is a dating coach, fitness expert, and self-improvement guru. He dropped out of college to start Masculine Development in 2015, and has since been self-employed, helping men across the world achieve their best lives. You can best reach him on social media, or via email for questions.