There’s a lot of benefits to learning game. From higher self-esteem to better social skills, learning game certainly has the potential to transform any man’s life for the better. Yet even so, there’s a “dark side of game,” that is often ignored.
I’ve seen some of the most incredible transformations take place, all thanks to game. Men who’ve been so afraid they couldn’t even talk to a stranger are now successful entrepreneurs, dating the girls of their dreams.
But I’ve also seen good men, GREAT men, turn into monsters. Consumed by the often sociopathic, Machiavellian nature of certain PUA circles, they spiral downward until anything and everything in their lives is a mere husk of what it once was.
This is not an exaggeration. Learning game has the potential to change your life in ways you can’t even imagine, and yet there’s an often ignored dark side that wreaks complete havoc and chaos on unsuspecting men’s lives.
When you first discover that you can “learn game,” and become more attractive, it’s often difficult to take the initial steps and get started. Newbies trying to learn game make up TONS of excuses to not go out and pull—excuses that they deserve a Nobel Prize for.
The truth is that they’re just afraid, but they don’t want to admit this to themselves. I know, because I’ve been there. This is why I’m somewhat hesitant to write this post—any newbie to game will read this, and use it as more evidence to NOT go learn game.
Even so, this needs to be said. There’s a very dark, nasty, manipulative side of learning game that often CONSUMES men…and I’m not joking here. I’ve almost had my life destroyed several times from the game, because I wasn’t prepared for what came next.
Like it or not, there is a very dark, seedy, and hidden side of game that destroys lives. I’m not at all saying this in any sort of a “all men are manipulative pickup artists!” sort of way, but believe me when I say that game can destroy your life…it almost did mine.
One of the most common pitfalls I see men succumb to, is that they get TOO MUCH success TOO FAST. While this certainly sounds like it’s a high quality problem, it can actually pose a serious threat to any and all long term growth and progress.
I’ve seen guys let their businesses go bankrupt, because they’re too busy out sleeping with Vegas strippers and Playboy models. Guys who had their shit down to a T, can lose it all from simply getting too much success with women too fast—it can mess with your head.
I went through a mild period of this before, when I first learned how to game girls on tinder. Suddenly I went from being an introverted virgin to banging a new girl each week, and it was absolutely incredible. It felt like I was in a lucid dream, and I could bend reality to my will.
It took hold of me, though—my business, financial situation, physical health, and even emotional health all began to suffer. Why would I focus on studying or working, when I could be balls deep in some tight young pussy? Why would I sit down and work on a product launch for 14 hours straight, when I could just text a few of my regulars and hook up?
It didn’t make any sense, and yet even so it took its toll on me. After just a few months I was thousands in debt, and because I’d neglected to grow my business and focus on my physical health, I didn’t have the aptitude to pay my debt back. This wasn’t nearly as bad as the emotional problems that came from learning game, however.
For anyone who’s ever studied female psychology, I’m sure you’re familiar with a concept known as the dark triad. These three traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy are supposedly like cat nip for chicks…and believe me, it’s true.
Getting too successful too fast can cause you to become narcissistic, to the point of losing touch with reality. It can cause you to become a complete sociopath, as you get sucked down the rabbit hole of seeking others validation. It can lead to impulsive decision making and risky behavior.
Don’t get me wrong—having some dark triad traits is certainly a good thing. You want to have a sense of grandeur, with huge ambitions. You want to seek power (to an extent) and you want to have the confidence and certainty of a psychopath.
But it can go WAY too far, especially if you learn a lot of game. It can all go to your head very quickly, and again, while I’m very hesitant to speak about this side of game, it’s something that needs to be said. It’s something that you need to be on the lookout for, especially if you’ve been reading my blog for 6+ months and putting my advice to good use.
There’s TONS of paradoxes throughout self-development, mainly because something so abstract and complex cannot be confined within a single model of reality. Many men have left the world of self improvement behind, because they can’t handle this abundance of paradoxes.
One such conundrum, is the validation loop. One of the first things you hear when learning PUA, is that you shouldn’t seek external validation—this is, after all, the most emotionally healthy way of living. You want to validate yourself from within, yet without a metric to measure your progress, you turn to external metrics.
Your new benchmark for success becomes: “Did it get me laid?” or at least something of the sort. If an action, though, emotion, or decision didn’t get you female attention, it doesn’t validate you—this is drawing validation from success with women, and it leads to dark, dark places.
Again, you can’t blame the newbie for doing this. How else are you supposed to improve your dating skills? If you can’t see what WORKS and what DOESN’T, and act appropriately, you’ll never improve. Hell, maybe this “dark side” of game is a necessary stepping stone to seeing the light.
But even so, you can become addicted to external validation. Ultimately you’ll reach a tipping point however, and experience some form of ego death. You’ll realize that while using external metrics (such as your notch count) are valuable, they aren’t the end all be all of success.
For anyone who’s getting deep into game, be on the lookout for these things. Another common pitfall is becoming a complete sociopath, and using others like chess pieces to accomplish your ends. This is definitely something that a lot of “zero to hero” guys encounter, when they learn the power of social skills.
I’m not saying that it isn’t important to know the signs of sociopathy. Hell, sometimes it can come in useful—if someone’s being an asshole or undermining your success, it can be very empowering when you know how to leverage social pressure against them.
Still though, beware of succumbing to it. Beware of becoming a social climber, who ditches any and all friends for the “next best thing.” Learning the game can lead to some very dark places, and believe me, I’ve seen it all. You must be on guard and watch for these characteristics in yourself at all times.
Don’t let this stop you from learning game, though. Still go out, meet new women, and maybe even settle down with a girl you like. Just be sure that you don’t fall into the dark side of game, and if you do, learn how to get out immediately before it consumes you.
Jon Anthony is a world renowned dating coach and the founder of Masculine Development, a website specifically dedicated to helping men improve their personal, dating, and financial lives. After years of training men how to attract women, build muscle, and make more money, Jon created the "7 Strategies" program to help kickstart your journey to success. Jon firmly believes that every man should have control over his own life, and he created Masculine Development to share his passion with men who want success in all areas.